A day in the life....

What time is it? Oh shoot, better hurry. Maybe lil C will keep sleeping? No such luck, okay little girl, c'mon, but let's be quiet b/c your daddy and brother are still sleeping. Hi Tucker - you need to go out? Let dog out and feed, though cannot move fast enough for dog. Time to get ready. Oh, B-man is up and asking for Diego and a bottle. You know we don't have bottles in the morning, only right before bed. Sorry buddy. Get ready - I am going to leave on time today. Get my coffee, get my water, get my pump gear, get my lunch. Where are my keys? Out the door, only 15 minutes behind schedule (as usual). Work work work work. Pump. Work work work work. Time to get the kids. On to Sharon's. MOMMA!!!!!! And lil C is ready to nurse before we can leave. Nurse Nurse Nurse. Talk Talk Talk. Time to go. Yes, let's go - please help me put on your coat. No, we cannot have a popsicle right now. Okay, in the car. Yes, we will listen to Raffi. Sing Sing Sing. Home finally, let the chaos begin. If I am lucky, PJ will be home, dog will be fed, and dinner will be started. Not always though. Let's eat! Lil C, will you please eat? B-man, not hungry tonight? No, no hot dogs. No, no candy either. Okay - time for a bath! Yes, now we can watch Diego and you can have a bottle. Lil C- ready to nurse? Book time - please pick out what you would like to read. Lights out. Walk walk walk lil C. Hold B-man's hand. Are they asleep? Clean up time. Wash the dishes. Hang up coats. Start a load of laundry. Pick up toys. Fall in to bed. Sleep. What time is it? 6am already?

Week 1 down - how are we doing?

Well, okay. Things morphed this week....... My main goal became getting both kids sleeping at the same time in the same room - and having that continue past the point of when I go to bed. Overall - success! Somehow Campbell's bedtime moved itself back a bit, which worked out well, b/c I was finding it challenging to keep her asleep when it was time for B to go to bed. Having 1 bedtime will be a blessing - though if she is tired sooner, she will go down sooner and we will deal with it. But so far so good. Most nights they are going down between 7:30-8pm - it takes a while - we read together and then I have to walk Campbell to really get her settled, but then she sleeps for a couple hours in her room. Some nights she wakes up earlier than I would prefer, but with some rocking, she is quickly back in a sound slumber. By midnight C is usually with me and B ends up with PJ at some point. Napping the same room is also working well - starting to get PJ incorporated in to the process. After this week, he doesnt know it, but he will become part of the bedtime mix too! Personally I hope to work to keep Campbell in her crib a bit longer which means waking up, feeding her, and putting her back in the crib. 1 day at a time....1 week at a time. they are only little for so long -

Sleep - night #2 and a bit more

Patience. Patience. Patience.

That is what I need and have to keep reminding myself each evening. The goal of having two kids sleep in the same room, and sleep there all night will take time. And I have to take it one step at a time. Step one - get Campbell used to her crib. Step two - try to muster up the willpower to not just bring her to my bed when I am tired. Let's start there. That's all I can stomach for now.....

Last night - took a while to get them both to bed. They play off of each other - Campbell loves to watch her brother. Brennan loves to see what Campbell gets to do. They pique each other's interest - which is great, but preferably not at bedtime. So I finally got them both to sleep last night. And then when C woke up at 11 to eat, I selfishly brought her to bed with me. And Brennan ended up with PJ.

Tonight is the night - I will not take her to bed with me after the first time she wakes up - repeat to myself- nurse in their room - put her back in the crib. sleep will come, sleep will come, sleep will come........ but tonight has already proven to be a struggle - Brennan has wimpered a few times, though not woken up, but C has been up 4-5 times since 7pm and it is only 10:30! Argh - patience, patience, patience.

One thing I have noticed about both of my children - they love to hold hands when falling asleep. It is the sweetest thing ever. I love it - mostly.....

Sleep - trying something new

When Lil Cwas born I always thought in my head, "when she is 6 months, I will move her in to the crib". Well 6 months came and went and I still didn't even have a mattress for the crib! I finally purchased a mattress for the crib (since the original one moved with b-man in to his bed) and we have been working over the past week to introduce her to the crib. And then after a weekend complete with both kids sleeping soundly in my bed with me (it was really fun), we decided to commit to the next two weeks as "GETTING OUR KIDS TO SLEEP IN THEIR ROOMS" time. Night 1 down - how did I do? Horrible. Okay, not horrible. I just get weak when I tired - weak in the sense that I don't want to deal with the work it will take to keep my kids in their rooms. My husband did better than me, but once he saw that I gave up, he did too.

This is how it goes -
Lil C usually is ready for bed no later than 7pm. So we go thru her bath-book-boob-bed routine and she is down. Last night she woke up about 30 minutes later, but I just went in there, held her for a few minutes and put her back down. PJ was putting B-Man thru his routine - Bath-Brush-Bottle/Diego-Books-Bed (and there was a banana in there last night). He brought him in to the bedroom around 8pm or so. C was stirring, so I sat in there with both of them for a while - ended up rocking C to sleep and B just snuggled up in his own bed. Then they slept. And they slept and they slept. And I got tired and went to bed.

Maybe around 11 or so, C got up. And this is where I failed. In hindsight I wish I would have just fed her in the glider and put her back in the crib, but instead I just took her to bed with me. So easy. Tonight I will do better. When B got up at first, PJ did help him back to sleep, but then about an hour after that initial wake up, he said B ran upstairs and snuggled with him.

We are both on board with this, though not feeling like we are so gung ho that it is all or nothing - just like we want to start planting those seeds for our children to sleep on their own, but if they don't - oh well.

Finding time for me

As most mothers know, finding time for yourself can be a challenge. When could it happen? And there are so many excuses to make sure it doesn't happen.....working all week, coming home at night and taking care of two kids, then being so exhausted that you fall asleep on the couch once again! What's a girl to do?

I know that for my health and well-being I NEED to make time for me. So here is my plan - a few months ago I contacted a few girls that I met when B was a baby - at the time we met for a weekly playgroup. But now with all of us having two kids (or almost), finding time to meet wasn't really a priority. So....we have created Girl's Night - once a month meeting, without kids, without husbands, for a few hours of wine and talk. It is something I look forward to every month. We can't all make it every month, but we all do our best. And coming soon, a Girl's weekend (okay, more like a Girl's Overnight, but we'll take what we can get!). Woohoo!

Exercise - this is a toughie. When should I exercise? I used to exercise early in the am and meet with some women to run, but I am not quite there yet with Campbell and her nursing/sleeping schedule. She likes to eat between 5-6am most days. After work? After the kids go to bed? I don't know. For a while I was running right after work and PJ was picking up the kids, but then it got cold and I got lazy. I am loving a feature thru our ATT U-Verse TV with the On Demand option - Exercise TV - there are some great 20 minute workouts on there! PJ got me some hand weights for X-mas so when I can, I do one of the Jillian Michael's workouts - and she kicks my butt!

In terms of eating - I used to enjoy a glass of wine or beer most nights, but think of all those empty calories - so I have cut that out, and not even intentionally - it just doesn't interest me! And I try to eat well, though I have a weakness for chocolate and sweets. Most nights I do indulge in a mug of hot chocolate (okay, so I just replaced the alcohol with chocolate!).

How have I done working out this week?
Last Thursday - ran 3 miles
Sunday - ran 3 miles
Monday - did a Jillian Michaels Cardio Blast workout and a leg workout
Wednesday - did a Kickboxing workout and Tammi Lee abs and thighs

Goal - run Saturday and Sunday this weekend. Do some abs and weights too.

Trying to incorporate some small things in as well - 10 extra push ups here and there, a pilates or yoga video when I can, walking over lunch at work. I always take the stairs too. It's sometimes the little things. I finally fit in to my old jeans/pants, but it;s my darn belly that needs a little work - product of two children for sure. Time time time.

TV and discipline

We watch too much tv in our house. Unfortunately, it is just part of our family culture - we come home, we turn on the tv. It tends to be on the background all the time. problem - Brennan LOVES to watch tv. So now what? Trying to cut back (and I just realize, as I type this, b/c I am home with a sick baby C today, the tv is on and has been all morning!). New plan for Brennan - he gets to watch a 1/2 hour in the am and a 1/2 hour in the pm. Usually Diego or Max and Ruby. But if I let him, he would watch tv all the time. He asks me all the time. Turning it off is always a battle (and I have become thankful for DVR bc it ends when the show ends!). But changing our family culture is hard. Really it is hardest for my husband I think. we are really working to be aware of when we have the tv on and if Brennan is around. Watching television is such a passive activity and doesn't do much to promote creativity or action.

I think TV has it's place - it is enjoyable (I love to watch certain shows) and entertaining. But in moderation. And with an active two year old, we need to make sure that we limit Brennan's tv time per day. In the morning, it is a great way for us to be able to get ready for work and keep Brennan entertained. And at night, tv is a great way to wind down before books and bed - and is part of the night time routine.

But Brennan would watch movie after movie - and there have been times when we have indulged him, but really need to pull back on that. Anyway, my doctor pointed out to me that we could use movies as our reward system, which is something that never dawned on me, but I think it is a great idea.

At Campbell's well child visit yesterday, I got in to a long convo with Dr. K about discipline. Sometimes I feel that I am not sure what i am doing and wonder if there is a better option. We don't believe in spanking and primarily use the distract or time out methods. He reiterated to me that whatever we choose, consistency is key - and I think that is sometimes where I fail! Anyway - after thinking about it all, here is our new (not really so new, but officially outlined) plan:

• TV - 30 minutes in AM and 30 minutes in PM. - choices include Diego, Dora, Max and Ruby, and a few others......
• Friday nights are movie night
• Movies are a reward for positive behavior - stay away from food based rewards
• Time out immediately after hitting or other unwanted behaviors that we have warned previously about
• 1 warning for unwanted behavior that is new with a time out the next time
• No explaining (parents talk too much!) as we will tell Brennan which behavior causes the time out. No explanations needed
• Encourage use of potty, but no potty training yet
• Milk with every meal

I know these things may sound simple, but for us, outlining them and making sure we follow thru and provide consistency is key - otherwise we create a confusing environment for our children.

Toys

It's official. Toys have overtaken our home. Thank goodness we have a playroom. I am sure it is not hard to believe that I have at least 5-6 toys that my children received for Christmas that have been put away for a later date. They are overwhelmed. They are also very lucky to have so many people that WANT to give them things (despite my repeated pleas to give $ for college instead of toys, none of the grandparents have taken me up on the offer yet. Darn. Doesn't college go further in the long run?).

Toys have been on my mind a lot lately, even more so after a visit to the Children's Museum last weekend, specifically to the PlayScape area for Toddlers and Babies. And what I noticed when we were there, well more of what I didn't notice. I didn't hear any annoying songs coming from a plastic toy. I didn't notice any children mesmerized by the bright lights of a toy that does the playing for a child. I didn't notice any children just sitting around looking at toys that move. Rather I observed children and babies in awe of what was available to them. Sand. Water. Mats. Slides. Play houses. Trainsets. Toys that encourage curiosity and creativity. I have such a problem with the toys that are sold and marketed to our children these days. They are loud and bright. They don't encourage creative play and pretend play. It seems they do the playing for the child. And we are guilty in my house. We have battery operated toys in our playroom and sure, my kids love them. But when the batteries die, well, that toy dies with it. This selfish momma doesn't replace the batteries anymore. Rather I encourage my son to build with wooden blocks, to throw a ball around, to play with his cars on his own. I have noticed the best play is when he is totally immersed in his own world, surrounded by only his imagination. Time flies for him as he creates things in his head. Doesn't that seem to make most sense?

I am sure there is some kind of research out there that makes that case for all kinds of toys. But in my heart, I cannot buy in to the marketing frenzy of toys that are out there. Personally I find it ridiculous. The amount of toys that our children have is also something that I find insane. What to do about it? Not sure. I gently encourage things, but cannot control what people purchase (though I guess I could control what actually enters the house) yet find that it is best to be gracious and accept gifts as they are provided. And when I can, I hide things to come out on a rainy day.

B hardly even plays with most of the toys we own. This week he has been obsessed with an empty wrapping paper roll - it has served as many roles in his mind. Campbell is happy with a wooden spoon. That makes me happy. Over Christmas, there was a time period at my dad's house where both kids were investigating the power of playing in boxes. It was amazing.

Maybe it is time to clear things out - we have too much. We need to simplify and I am sure there are plenty of children in our community who would love what we can provide. New plan - for each toy that comes in to our home, a toy must go out. Enough with the lights, and the annoying songs, and the noises, and the batteries. As my children get older, I realize this will be difficult, but I will do what I can. For now, I want to keep plastic battery operated toys to a minimum in our house. Let's keep our toys simple. Let's keep our life simple. It is so much better that way. Smile.

Here is an article that captures some of my thoughts - http://babble.com/susan-linn-kids-dont-play/index2.aspx
Excerpt:
A good toy, a toy that nurtures creative play is ninety percent child and only ten percent toy. Play is useful for children, and engaging and exciting for children, when they drive the play, when they’re in charge of what’s going to happen in the play. What’s happening with toys like Tickle Me Elmo is that they interfere with that process. Elmo is a media character, linked to a media program that children are very familiar with. Children play less creatively with media-linked toys because who the character is, and what the character says and does are already embedded in the toy. If they see the media program a lot, the script gets embedded in the child’s brain and then kids are just imitating with media linked toys, they’re not engaged in creativity.

But the other concern about toys like Tickle Me Elmo is that they’re embedded with computer chips, so the toys sing and dance and talk and do back flips, but all the child is doing is pressing a button to make that happen, and that’s not a creative experience for children, and really, the toys are having more fun than the kids. And parents are convinced that children need this kind of toy because it is modern and technological. But really, those toys are pretty useless in terms of promoting the kind of creative play that is fundamental to children’s well-being.

Food for thought for sure. What do you think?