Sleep. Always something I have struggled with. Not sure I did the right things with B, but did what worked and what I was capable of and ready for at the time. As a result we have a 2 1/2 year old who goes to bed fairly easily at night, somewhat on his own, but mid-night gets up to find daddy and then sleeps till morning. It works for now.
Lil C on the other hand - we started off co-sleeping/bed sharing, but as time went on I realized that this approach was not working, mostly for her. She wasn't sleeping. I wasn't sleeping. We were both crabby. A change was needed. So......after shedding a few tears and feeling helpless, the activator in me took over. I piecked out two trusted friends and called them for help. It was really really hard for me to do - I HATE asking for help. I HATE that I could not figure it out on my own. But I am GLAD that I did it. We all need to reach out sometimes and realize that we are not perfect supermom (though I would like to believe that I am! HA!). I called two friends with two very different parenting philosophies - one similar to mine and one a little more traditional. And they gave me their thoughts. My goal as I shared with them, was to get my baby girl in her bed all night long. I still was open to nursing, but we both needed more sleep and needed it in our own beds. I also realized that I wanted to encourage some sleep habits that I did not previously get going with my son - going to bed on her own at a younger age, being okay in the crib alone, waking up and going back to sleep okay. I also had to embrace that change like this would probably not be tear free, and while I am not open to the cry-it-out method, some crying would be okay. I fully believe that at this age with my son I was not in a place where i was open to doing this and could not have handled it or completed the follow thru. But now I am in such a place.
Sooo....what did they have to say?
Friend #1 - she did what some would call tFerberizing, though I don't quite see it that way. Let's instead call it the 2-4-6-8-10 method. She would put her daughter down drowsy but awake after the bedtime routine. Do a little patting and such, then leave the room. If crying started, she would return after two minutes, then four, 6, 8, 10. After the 10 minute bout, if daughter was not asleep, she picked her up - checked diaper, temp, jammes, etc.... and then started a little walking and then back to bed for another round of 2-4-6-8-10. She told me that rarely did they get thru to 10 minutes of crying/fussing. This sounded doable to me. I liked that there was a finite end and that at no point was the child crying alone for more than 10 minutes. She did his in the middle of the night as well.
Friend #2 - similar method but more open to longer lengths of crying and no picking up. Not sure this would work for me.
Then in a magazine I read about the Sleep Lady and her Shuffle. Totally sounded like something I could do - teaching healthy habits but very little crying in a room alone. I thought, hmm, maybe pairing this with the 2-4-6-8-10 method could work. And the bottom line for me was just ensuring I was consistent. Which I know, but have never been when it comes to sleep, unless it came to nursing and co-sleeping, then I was 100% consistent! The sleep lady uses approaches based on age, but basically over a 2 week period you move from being next to the crib and moving further away until you are in the hallway. You can talk, sing, touch, but not all the time. Do it for putting child to sleep and middle of the night wake-ups.
(note - started this last week and just now finishing - train of thought shift...)
Anyway - so we have now completed our first three nights of the Shuffle. Then we went to St. Louis and experienced crazy schedules, then we dealth with daylight savings and a return home. Last night (Sunday) I continued with the position next to the crib. May do it for one more night. Then I will move further and further away. It is really working well so far. And if only I could help tech Lil C how to find her paci in the middle of the night......... So far C has been waking up 1-2 times per night, and only b/c she wants her paci and cannot find it. Last night she nursed, but for the past week has not nursed (not by my choosing necessarily, but just by default). Needless to say, I am a fan so far of the shuffle. Next up, B-man... (who gave up his nightly milk bottle, well, encouraged by me, by giving our doctor a "present" of his bottles and in place earning a really cool Lightening McQueen water bottle!).
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